Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Cleaning up my act

I'm trying to clean up my act.

Cleaned my closet.
Cleaned my room, my sheets.

I needed to give a bit of space in my mind, my anxiety is trying to take me over and eat me.
It's making my yoga practice harder.

I needed to go back to writing down everything I feel,
Coz truth is,
Nobody wants to get a shitload of grievances.
I have to put it out what's eating me.

Yesterday I tried to write again,
I thought it helped a bit clear my head.

I was almost to a point of breaking down and find other alternatives,
Then I remembered the book that changed my life.
I thought maybe it's time to re-read it.
It helped also.

Paid a couple of my cards to buy me some peace of mind.
In awhile, I'll be selling my shoes.
I'm actually afraid of doing this, you know, ego, pride.
Let's see.

I know I'm gonna make it through the rain.

Sunday, June 21, 2020

I needed to write

I needed to express my discontent.
My problems, my trials and challenges.

I need to know that I can continue fighting.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

draft post

I'm very thankful about this life.
I'm very thankful that I have the chance to constantly revolutionise myself.
To have lived, died, and live, just like that.
Evolve not with time, but evolve at my own time.
Not with the flow but my own flow.
To constantly discover a lot and not stay in one phase of time.
To constantly discover myself and not be redundant.
To rant about things, and say fuck my life,
and still think its an awesome post on social media sites.

To my daily triumphs
To the everyday hardships
To the struggles and successes
that have made me as who I am at the present time.

I wrote this lat 16th January 2013, but never posted it.
Just thought it's still worth sharing.

Fuck it.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Dec. 29, 2012

It will almost be 8 months now since I left my country.
I didn't really point out it's home, i'm not certain about that fact.

Around 3 days ago,
I watched Life of Pi alone.
I was chasing after some demon and I thought that inside the theatre,
it would be much easier for me to confine him.
Guess everything is going to happen as it is, as it was
and how exactly things should happen have happened.

The movie made a lot of sense for me,
Or maybe it was just me.
Pi was alone in most of his adventures & misadventures.
He never had a family,
as Pi would say, "His family was taken away from him".
it's hard to not have them around, in a way maybe none of you would feel.
You seem to feel lost, but you try to believe you are not,
Because there isn't anybody to tell you your way,
nor anybody to agree that you are lost.

It makes you the strongest person alive.
It makes you alive.

It's funny, how soul searching is never ending,
Nor finding one's true self.
One's real nature.
And it's even hilarious that people seem to say the answer is just there.

My trials and hardships are far from over.
My dream hasn't surfaced to reality.
My life is still a spectacle for everybody to witness.
I ain't far from over, which as I have mentioned
As it is should have been should happen,
At least I seem to think it is.

There are reasons that keep me intact,
They're fascination about the life they are witnessing keeps them part of the story.
Until they see this story become as happy as it deserves,
they won't stop.  It is worth it.

You could sink,
But you could also swim.

Saturday, October 6, 2012


It's been a tough life..

You grew up in the slums,
you tried to grow up without no one telling you how it is,
you tried your best in everything without somebody telling you what best means.

You arrive to a point where everything seems fine.
Then you take that extra step,
You move forward.

Then you become more matured.
Or at least you grow older.
Then some people you love leaves you.
Others die, others flake away.

Then you become sick.
And you try to figure out why.
You find a cure,
and leave everything behind.
You move on.

They say taking that curvy road takes you some place better,
You get your share of the pie.

Now, I am just enjoying my 2nd life.
Not everybody gets this chance of seeing life for the 2nd time.
It's different.
Really, really different that nobody will understand
Until they have been there.

This journal entry is dedicated to those 2 person who have left me permanently in my life,
They are watching me right now,
Both of them understands what i mean when I say my 2nd life around.
They never got that chance.